Poetic Beginnings

I've always had a way with words.  Ever since I was little my mother and even my teachers said that I write a lot better than I speak.  I would have to agree with the statement because it has always been easier for me to express my feelings in writing than spoken words.  In the past, when I needed to express myself, it was written in a letter or a constant rant of me venting my feelings.  At times they made sense and others were incoherent ramblings of a man who was frankly upset with everyone in the world including himself. 

I have to go back a little to my last semester at New Paltz.  During my creative writing class, my professor told us we had to write a poem for class and make it very descriptive; using minimal amounts of words.  I never wrote a poem that made sense and could rhyme, but my professor assured me a poem did not have to rhyme for it to be a poem.  To be honest I don't remember what I wrote but it was the first poem I wrote since deciding I wanted to be a writer. 

There were multiple times that year that writing poems put a lot of things in perspective.  It was 2009 and 2010 that brought on more of my poetic insights.  There were a few poems that were written in regards to a close friend of mine.  Who knew it would be a giant leap forward towards my first major literary goal.  So here is one of the first poems I wrote which was chosen to be part of my first book the Chamber of Souls (more to come on that).

Breathe

Lying on the sand,

The beautiful clear sky lets the gentle breeze flow over me.

The red hot sun radiates my body,

While my mind simmers with memories.

 

I’m reminded of my happiest times.

Driving around town, the music blasting, with the windows down.

One drive makes everything feel right.

My friends are all I ever needed.

 

A glimpse into the sun reminds me of our time together.

Waiting for the next adventure to begin;

You’ll jump at a moment’s notice,

But you never notice the one starring you in the eyes.

 

Now I’m here, unable move.

If I do I’ll die.

Wishing I had the strength to tell you,

But fear I never will.

 

The lights are fading fast.

There’s a shadow standing over me.

I notice her eyes one last time;

I love you.

2 Years of near silence

I felt like I lost everything.  The one in a million idea I thought would give me everything I ever wanted in life, was gone.  Months of work went down the drain when we had to factory reset.  I was devastated and didn't think I would ever be able to come up with another idea like that again.  It took me two years before I was able to come up with anything else to write about.  One idea stuck out in my mind, but could never do anything with it. 

By 2008, my life took a drastic turn for the best (although I took it as the worst at the time).  My relationship ended with my ex and I moved back home to Long Island.  I had to start over from scratch with my life.  I moved back in with my parents, my job botched my transfer and I was without a job. 

There was one brightside to the situation.  There was a desktop computer at my parents house that had an A Drive.  I was able to work on the Phoenix Blade again.  I pulled up the file for the first time in two years.  There was only two feelings that ran through me.  Happiness to see my work again, and anger at how my writing once was.  Somehow I managed to improve my writing ability during those two years and one failed attempt at writing a different story.  But now I felt rejuventated.  I had my original writing idea back in my hands; ready to be remodeled to my current writing style.  I felt alive again.  I felt like a Phoenix.

Setbacks

It's something everyone comes across.  The official definition says:

noun

an unfortunate happening that hinders or impedes; something that is thwarting or frustrating. I for one can honestly say that is a very true way to describe the feeling you get when faced with a setback.  There have been quiet a few setbacks throughout my journey as a writer and I am sure I will face many more.  My first literary setback happened in 2006 (shortly after I started typing up the Phoenix Blade).  I was using the desktop computer at my apartment and kept finding a virus attacking the computer.  It would take complete control of my system and send a hundred or so pop up windows.  I couldn't even write anymore without having to close out a dozen extra windows on the computer.  My ex and I tried to run anti-virus software, but nothing seemed to work.  We had no other choice, we had to reset it back to factory settings.  I was able to save my work to a floppy disk prior to erasing everything from my computer.  After the restoration, we still had issues and eventually had to get a different desktop.  There was another issue that was unexpected.  The new computer did not have an A Drive which meant I could no longer work on the Phoenix Blade book.  I was crushed and couldn't remember everything I wrote previously.  I didn't want to start it over again either.  I had no other choice at the time.  I left the Phoenix Blade novel behind for years.