It's been less than a month since I released my third book, The Phoenix Blade: Project Justice, and it's been an interesting and fun ride since. There are three big announcements regarding The Phoenix Blade.
1. I will be conducting a book signing/launch event in Huntington NY at the Book Revue (313 New York Ave, Huntington, NY) at 7pm.
2. I will be on the Anthony Charles Podcast in the upcoming weeks to talk about and promote The Phoenix Blade.
3. I will be going on my first Virtual Book Tour (which is in the process of being setup as we speak).
I wanted to take some time to share a few things since releasing the book.
The first has been that nothing comes easy. The things in life you want the most, you have to work very hard for.
The second goes hand in hand with the first. There is no such thing as an overnight sensation or success. Actors/Actresses, Writers/Authors, Musicians, Producers/Directors, and Athletes have spent countless years trying to get where they are today. It's taken me eight years just to reach this level in my literary career and it feels like I'm just starting.
The third has been about self publishing and promoting. The self publishing part is easy when you know where to go and what to use. I suggest avoiding anything that requires you to spend a lot of money for their paid services. If you need an editor or someone to read your work over, there are other options out there for less money. I made this mistake once; on my first book, Chamber of Souls. I used IUniverse thinking it was the least costly way to self publish. They were helpful, but could not get the cover the exact way I wanted it without it costing more money than I already paid. The cover still came out nice, but not the exact way I wanted it. The next issue was in regards to royalties. They only gave me 20% Royalties on any book sold on their website or on Kindle; which provided very little profit for me. It was only until I purchased my books in bulk and sold them that I began making money. The final issue was advertising the book. They offered to help you advertise your book, but for another high end fee. I chose not to use them again, but will still get a call almost every month for the last two years with them trying to sell me on one of their advertising programs or to get me to order more copies of my book.
Now I'm not saying you shouldn't go with them, I'm saying there are better alternatives to getting your work into the hands of your potential readers. Since the release of my first book, I have put out two other books by using CreateSpace. This site works directly with Amazon.com to help you publish your book for free. The only times payment have been required were if I wanted to open up additional channels for distribution ($25), if you need them to design your cover for you ($399), and then when you need to buy copies of your own book to sell. It is also free to publish on Kindle. You choose what percentage you get on your royalties 30% or 70%.
When you self publish, you handle the advertising for your book. The best ways to promote your book are through LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, and PinYourBook.com. There are also other ways to promote. Blogging has become one of the best ways to get attention for your books, and finding other blogs to do guest posts on or author interviews.
Phoenix Entertainment and Development
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Self publishing
Since I decided to put out my third book, The Phoenix Blade, by self publishing, I felt like my next post should be about self publishing. I want to talk about why authors choose to self publish, the pros and cons about self publishing, and various sites and groups that can be useful.
So first things first. Why do authors choose to self publish? There are many answers to this question. Some do it because they want to just get their work out there. Others do it because they feel it is the best way for them to get noticed. And many others do it because they want to share their work and ability with the rest of the world.
Now these are valid reasons. But like everything else in this world, there are pros and cons to self publishing.
Now I don't want anyone to think just because you are self publishing that you're in this by yourself; you're not. There are hundreds of authors that are out there going through the same thing you are. There are groups on Linkedin that help authors connect, share stories, share best practices, and even give advice. Here are a list of groups that I found useful information and help with my writing and even promoting my books.
http://www.linkedin.com/groups/AFFILIATED-AUTHORS-65681?trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Book-Marketing-1848415?trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Indie-Authors-3806381?trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Indie-Authors-Publishers-4180273?trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
http://www.linkedin.com/groups/SelfPromoting-Indie-Authors-3945428?trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=1799488&trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
Another useful social media site to use is Twitter. You can connect with other writers, literary agents, publishers, even celebrities. It doesn't guarantee anything, but has a possibility to lead to something greater.
So first things first. Why do authors choose to self publish? There are many answers to this question. Some do it because they want to just get their work out there. Others do it because they feel it is the best way for them to get noticed. And many others do it because they want to share their work and ability with the rest of the world.
Now these are valid reasons. But like everything else in this world, there are pros and cons to self publishing.
Pros
- You are able to share your work with others.
- It can help to get you noticed by publishers and literary agents.
- You can generate sales on books that you have worked on for years.
- It does not cost much to self publish (There are sites that will allow you do publish for free. Don't spend money with other companies).
- It pushes you to work harder for what you want.
- There are less people to take a percentage of the sale.
Cons
- Because people find it easy and affodable to self publish, everybody rushes to put out their work; even if it's not ready.
- People spend hundreds of dollars on sites that encourage people to self publish with their packaged plans.
- The best way for your book to sell is pushing advertising for it; which can sometimes become costly.
- You have to spend money to buy your books up front to sell them to make a profit or else you make less per book selling online (that is until you get a lot of momentum and following).
- It can take a while before a literary agent or publisher takes notice of you.
- You have to setup your own book signings.
- Because of self publishing there are more authors out there than there was five years ago (can be a good thing and a bad thing).
Now I don't want anyone to think just because you are self publishing that you're in this by yourself; you're not. There are hundreds of authors that are out there going through the same thing you are. There are groups on Linkedin that help authors connect, share stories, share best practices, and even give advice. Here are a list of groups that I found useful information and help with my writing and even promoting my books.
http://www.linkedin.com/groups/AFFILIATED-AUTHORS-65681?trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Book-Marketing-1848415?trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Indie-Authors-3806381?trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Indie-Authors-Publishers-4180273?trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
http://www.linkedin.com/groups/SelfPromoting-Indie-Authors-3945428?trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=1799488&trk=myg_ugrp_ovr
Another useful social media site to use is Twitter. You can connect with other writers, literary agents, publishers, even celebrities. It doesn't guarantee anything, but has a possibility to lead to something greater.
Monday, May 6, 2013
The Phoenix Blade
So here we are. The official release of the Phoenix Blade was last week and have been receiving a lot of positive feedback from it.
http://www.amazon.com/Phoenix-Blade-Project-Justice-ebook/dp/B00CLIH0TS/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_kin?ie=UTF8&qid=1367851796&sr=8-1&keywords=Phoenix+Blade%2C+Andrew+Hess
http://www.amazon.com/The-Phoenix-Blade-Andrew-Hess/dp/1482052733/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1367851796&sr=8-1&keywords=Phoenix+Blade%2C+Andrew+Hess
I am currently setting up my first book signing event for the beginning of June in Huntington, NY (stay tuned for more details). I will also be on an episode of the Anthony Charles Podcast. In the meantime, feel free to check out my past interviews on the Anthony Charles Podcast.
http://anthonycharlespodcast.com/episode-5-andrew-hess-writer/
http://anthonycharlespodcast.com/episode-20-andrew-hess-authorpoetblogger/
I will keep everyone posted on any upcoming signings, on my virtual book tour, and will write a few new blog posts.
I would also like to encourage any writers to check out the Author Writing Club. It is a site that helps writers promote their books with thousands of readers.
http://authormarketingclub.com/members/featured-member-books/
http://www.amazon.com/Phoenix-Blade-Project-Justice-ebook/dp/B00CLIH0TS/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_kin?ie=UTF8&qid=1367851796&sr=8-1&keywords=Phoenix+Blade%2C+Andrew+Hess
http://www.amazon.com/The-Phoenix-Blade-Andrew-Hess/dp/1482052733/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1367851796&sr=8-1&keywords=Phoenix+Blade%2C+Andrew+Hess
I am currently setting up my first book signing event for the beginning of June in Huntington, NY (stay tuned for more details). I will also be on an episode of the Anthony Charles Podcast. In the meantime, feel free to check out my past interviews on the Anthony Charles Podcast.
http://anthonycharlespodcast.com/episode-5-andrew-hess-writer/
http://anthonycharlespodcast.com/episode-20-andrew-hess-authorpoetblogger/
I will keep everyone posted on any upcoming signings, on my virtual book tour, and will write a few new blog posts.
I would also like to encourage any writers to check out the Author Writing Club. It is a site that helps writers promote their books with thousands of readers.
http://authormarketingclub.com/members/featured-member-books/
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Sneak Peak
So here it is; eight years in the making. My novel, The Phoenix Blade is getting the finishing touches before it is fully published and ready for the world to see.
I wanted to give my readers a brief glimpse at the Phoenix Blade and hope you all enjoy.
Follow the journey of
Andrew Lancaster and his friends as they are thrown in the middle of the
biggest government conspiracy to hit the United States. After a joking about ridding the world of all
the evil people, Andrew gets a call from a man known only as the Benefactor.;
claiming to be a government official that has been monitoring Lancaster and his
friends. He is told they have enough to
arrest them for treason, but would like to hire them instead for a top secret
government project. As a bonus the
Benefactor says he will reveal something Lancaster has wanted to know for the
last six years. Who killed his mother.
I wanted to give my readers a brief glimpse at the Phoenix Blade and hope you all enjoy.
Bright white
lights. It was the first thing I noticed
when I opened my eyes.
“Just relax
Mr. Lancaster,” a stern woman’s voice said as she laid a hand on my chest;
forcing me back to the bed. “You’ve been
through a major ordeal and need your rest.”
I tried to
push myself up on the bed, but found my arms tied down with restraints.
“What’s going
on? Where am I?”
“Relax,
you’re in good hands.”
I craned my
neck to look through the window on a solid door. I thought I saw a woman with short brown
hair. She looked familiar. I continued to fight the restraints. I was always claustrophobic and being pinned
to a plain white bed didn’t help that feeling.
“Mr.
Lancaster, you need to relax,” the woman said.
My eyes
cleared; allowing me to see a tall heavy set woman dressed in white standing
over my bed. Her surgical mask told me
something was off. I struggled to get
free, but was locked in too tight. The
woman reached for a syringe and placed it into my IV.
“This
should calm you down.” My vision blurred
and my body felt limp. The woman’s voice
sounded like she was yelling down a long hallway. “He should be out any minute.”
“Good bring
him downstairs,” a stern male voice said.
My eyes closed as I was wheeled out of the room forcefully.
When I
awoke, I was back in my parent’s old house; sprawled out on the old brown
living room carpet. The TV clicked on
and recaps of last night’s baseball games were playing. I looked up and saw a teenage boy lying on
the couch with the remote in hand.
“Steve,” I
asked while pulling myself off the floor.
He didn’t flinch or respond when I called his name. His eyes were fixated on the TV and wouldn’t
budge.
I sat down
on the love seat and wondered why he couldn’t hear me. A woman’s voice could be heard coming down
the hallway. A short woman with shoulder
length blond hair entered the room with a slightly chubby sixteen year old boy.
“Now
Andrew, you’re in charge while I’m gone.
Make sure your brother doesn’t get into any trouble and no rough
housing.”
“Yes
mom.” I looked at the boy and realized
it was a younger version of me.
“Hey mom,”
Steven said from the couch. “Can you
bring us home lunch?”
“What’s
wrong with what’s in the fridge?”
“I’m sick
of having soup and making sandwiches.
Can you bring us home something different?”
“Fine,” she
reached into her purse and pulled out a twenty dollar bill and placed it on the
fireplace mantle. “Order yourselves a
pizza and try to save me some. I’ll be
back in two hours.”
I watched
the teenage version of Steven and I waive to our mother through the window as she
approached her car. I knew what this
was. I dreamt it every night. I stepped through the front door to stop her
from leaving. The house was gone, and then
found myself standing on the side of the road.
A handful of police, fire, and rescue trucks had it blocked off trying
to put out a car fire.
“MOM,” I
shouted while running towards her overturned car as it burst into flames. Tires, bumper fragments, and glass littered
the highway. Police tried to keep
everyone away who attempted to get a glimpse of the wreckage. I ran to the car; knowing I couldn’t be
stopped.
I pulled
the car door open and walked into a funeral home. A long line of people stood along the wall;
waiting to pay their respects. There
were colorful combinations of flowers lined up around the casket and two large
cardboard displays filled with pictures.
The younger Steven and Andrew were standing next to the couches;
accepting their guests’ condolences. I
walked past the line of people; wanting to see my mother one last time.
I looked at
the pictures as I made my way to the front.
My left hand rested on the kneeler as I looked into the casket. I jumped back immediately; trying to catch my
breath. I wanted to scream, but somehow
lost my voice. I wasn’t staring at my
mother. The body lying in the box was
mine.
The Phoenix Blade is now available on Amazon.com or Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/The-Phoenix-Blade-Andrew-Hess/dp/1482052733/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1367867627&sr=8-2&keywords=the+phoenix+blade
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Anniversary of sorts.
While I was driving the other day, I listened to one of my interviews I did for the Anthony Charles Podcast. In it he asked me when did I decide writing was my voice. My answer was it had been six years since I decided to become a writer. The interview was recorded back in 2011/2012 when my first book, the Chamber of Souls was released. The interview made me realize that even in a year or two so much can change; writing styles, the way people talk, the way they dress, and the way they carry themselves in both private and public settings. This can be easily chalked up to the events in ones life helping a person to grow, or a way of maturing.
After six years of working my way into the writing industry, I felt like I was on top of the world. I think everyone does when they reach a major accomplishment or goal in life. But I quickly understood there was much more to learn.
It's been two years later, and this month makes it officially eight years since I decided to become a writer and starter the book that would change my life; The Phoenix Blade (Which I will give my readers more info on in the next post). In the two years that have passed, I have found and connected with more writers and potential writers than I ever realized were out there. People who have great ideas, or just stories from their past; itching to written and shown to the world. A lot has been held back by them because they have been afraid to put themselves out there or didn't know what to write about or how to write it in the first place. And for that I tell people to push yourselves to learn. Put yourselves out there for people to see. If you don't know how to do something, ask for help. Linkedin is a great place to meet other writers and get their opinions. Also take to reading more books about how to develop structure, characters, plots, and the specific genre you want to write about.
The thing that I have learned the most in the eight years of writing is that every moment I spent pouring my heart and soul into everything that I wrote and rewrote has been worth it. Those moments of creating characters, venting into my poetry, working alongside with my brother, and talking to other writers and potential writers I wouldn't trade any of those moments for anything. It is a crazy, hard working, and dedicated business to work your way into, but it has been one of the most rewarding and inspiring business to be a part of and I have only just begun.
After six years of working my way into the writing industry, I felt like I was on top of the world. I think everyone does when they reach a major accomplishment or goal in life. But I quickly understood there was much more to learn.
It's been two years later, and this month makes it officially eight years since I decided to become a writer and starter the book that would change my life; The Phoenix Blade (Which I will give my readers more info on in the next post). In the two years that have passed, I have found and connected with more writers and potential writers than I ever realized were out there. People who have great ideas, or just stories from their past; itching to written and shown to the world. A lot has been held back by them because they have been afraid to put themselves out there or didn't know what to write about or how to write it in the first place. And for that I tell people to push yourselves to learn. Put yourselves out there for people to see. If you don't know how to do something, ask for help. Linkedin is a great place to meet other writers and get their opinions. Also take to reading more books about how to develop structure, characters, plots, and the specific genre you want to write about.
The thing that I have learned the most in the eight years of writing is that every moment I spent pouring my heart and soul into everything that I wrote and rewrote has been worth it. Those moments of creating characters, venting into my poetry, working alongside with my brother, and talking to other writers and potential writers I wouldn't trade any of those moments for anything. It is a crazy, hard working, and dedicated business to work your way into, but it has been one of the most rewarding and inspiring business to be a part of and I have only just begun.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Pilot TV Shows
I know this may be a trivial matter, but it's something I wanted to discuss. After watching the pilot episode of "How to Live With Your Parents for the Rest of Your Life," I came to the realization that I cannot stand over advertised pilot episodes. Maybe it's just me, but lately I've noticed a common trend. Each time a new show advertises its pilot episode, they show the funniest or best clips from the premiere episode and nothing from any other episode they have aired. The end result is seeing the complete episode through the commercial before it ever airs.
Now I know that the pilot episode is meant to be the measuring stick to see if the show gained enough viewers to continue on the season, but most shows get the clearance to shoot additional episodes before it ever airs on TV. If the show succeeds in the first few episodes, the network will tell them to film more, or that they are to come back for a full season next year. If they fail, they are cancelled.
Now I'm not saying networks should change the way they advertise or promote new TV shows. However, I would like to see them leave something to our imagination for the pilot episode. Give us something that we didn't already see in the commercials for the last few weeks. I for one will continue to watch this show because I know Brad Garrett and Sarah Chalke are incredibly funny people and believe the show will be a success. I mean, the first time I saw the promo for their show on TV was hysterical, but seeing it for the fiftieth time dulled the humor behind it.
The two things that I learned from watching this seasons new shows were this. 1. Networks need to learn how to not give away the entire pilot episode in the commercials leading up to the premiere. 2. We as viewers cannot render judgement on a show based on the pilot episode. 3. Sit back and enjoy the first few episodes; you never know if the show will be green lighted to move on to next season or be cancelled on the spot.
Now I know that the pilot episode is meant to be the measuring stick to see if the show gained enough viewers to continue on the season, but most shows get the clearance to shoot additional episodes before it ever airs on TV. If the show succeeds in the first few episodes, the network will tell them to film more, or that they are to come back for a full season next year. If they fail, they are cancelled.
Now I'm not saying networks should change the way they advertise or promote new TV shows. However, I would like to see them leave something to our imagination for the pilot episode. Give us something that we didn't already see in the commercials for the last few weeks. I for one will continue to watch this show because I know Brad Garrett and Sarah Chalke are incredibly funny people and believe the show will be a success. I mean, the first time I saw the promo for their show on TV was hysterical, but seeing it for the fiftieth time dulled the humor behind it.
The two things that I learned from watching this seasons new shows were this. 1. Networks need to learn how to not give away the entire pilot episode in the commercials leading up to the premiere. 2. We as viewers cannot render judgement on a show based on the pilot episode. 3. Sit back and enjoy the first few episodes; you never know if the show will be green lighted to move on to next season or be cancelled on the spot.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Self Sabotage
This is a topic I wanted to discuss for some time now, but never attempted to write about. Maybe it's difficult to discuss why people sabotage their own lives, or maybe it's because it's hard to admit that we all sabotage our lives.
So how do people self sabotage? There are different situations to consider when asking how. There are personal relationships, office relationships, friendships, careers, and family. Each one has many different ways to push the self destruct button and watch the countdown till the end. But let's start with the easiest one to talk about; family.
Family is one of the easiest categories to sabotage; mostly because we know they tend to forgive more often than turn and walk away. We find ways to pick apart relationships with our siblings due to jealousy, anger over something petty, or even blaming them for something they did or failed to do for you. Parents are a whole other subject. Most of the time kids blame their parents for everything. It starts when they're teenagers that don't get their way. Freud always attributed a child's psychological issues to be based solely on the parents' failure. As adults we tend to gravitate to the continuation of blaming them for our issues or realizing they had our best interest at heart and did the best they could. (The continued debate for this topic can be discussed at a later time).
In terms of careers, there are a few ways to self destruct. For starters, you could keep all the anger and resentment you have towards your company or boss inside until you snap. When it unleashes, it's like verbal diarrhea; spewing uncontrollably until either you have nothing left to say or you're fired and security escorts you from the building. Another way is by being afraid to take chances because you become too complacent in your current job title and performance. This is one of the most common ones. People get too comfortable and don't want to to step up to the next level at work because they feel it will require more work, responsibility or could equate to a higher possibility of scrutiny.
Office relationships and office friendships are typically a time bomb waiting to go off at any moment and are usually self explanatory. Being friends inside and out of the business is fine as long as you remember to stay within the boundaries during work hours and not let it influence your performance or behavior during that time.
Finally the biggest ways to self sabotage are personal relationships and personal life. There are way too many to go into, but I will go over a few examples. The first being the personal life. The biggest issue people face is procrastination which goes hand in hand with laziness. Both start when we're younger. In today's world, most kids are too used to playing their Nintendo, Xbox, and PlayStation when they have free time. It's one of the things they look forward to doing after school. They can play what they want, interact with friends or strangers online and never leave the comfort of their bedroom/house. But by relying on these devices, kids take their focus off of doing work and caring more about play time. It becomes the same when they get older. As a child, the procrastination takes the form of waiting till the last minute to do homework, reports, or studying. As an adult, it takes the form of forgetting to pay bills, accruing high amounts of debt, going late to work, or simply letting simple tasks snowball into something bigger. I have found myself in many of these situations in life and have learned the hard way many times you can't fall into the pit of procrastination.
Finally the personal relationships have a few forms. The first is picking fights based on insecurities, or not getting over past situations from an ex. Everyone goes through theses. Everyone has baggage that they need to deal with and most of the time can't until they work through it in either a rebound, the next relationship, therapy, or other creative ways. The next level deals with insecurities on higher levels. The people in the relationship tend to think the other person is too good for them or think one of them is not good enough for the other. If you put someone too high on a pedestal it makes them feel they have so much to live up to and if they can't be that, then they fail. On the opposite hand if you view them or yourself on a lower level, the person might feel like they're not good enough and tend to walk away. The final level has more to do with the what if situation and cold feet scenarios. The what if situation falls on people who have been in a relationship for a while and wonder what their life would be if they were single. It typically happens when they are either unhappy in the relationship or has many friends that are single. They tend to go out with the single group and hang around them wishing they could live that life once again. The cold feet scenario are found in the people who are about to get married. They're faced with the realization they're about to settle down with one person for the rest of their life and try to come up with any reason not to.
Now if you made it to this point, you're probably asking yourself what the hell is the point of all this or why the hell did you keep reading? My hope is that you did read everything. Did you see yourself in any of those situations? I bet you did. Maybe you found yourself listed a couple of times. The point I wanted to create was that everyone self sabotages their life. We all push the self destruct button at one point or another. But there's always the abort button. We can pull that steering wheel back, avoid the collision, and put ourselves back on course before it's too late. My hope is that by reading this, you can notice when you're being self destructive or sabotaging and correct yourself.
So how do people self sabotage? There are different situations to consider when asking how. There are personal relationships, office relationships, friendships, careers, and family. Each one has many different ways to push the self destruct button and watch the countdown till the end. But let's start with the easiest one to talk about; family.
Family is one of the easiest categories to sabotage; mostly because we know they tend to forgive more often than turn and walk away. We find ways to pick apart relationships with our siblings due to jealousy, anger over something petty, or even blaming them for something they did or failed to do for you. Parents are a whole other subject. Most of the time kids blame their parents for everything. It starts when they're teenagers that don't get their way. Freud always attributed a child's psychological issues to be based solely on the parents' failure. As adults we tend to gravitate to the continuation of blaming them for our issues or realizing they had our best interest at heart and did the best they could. (The continued debate for this topic can be discussed at a later time).
In terms of careers, there are a few ways to self destruct. For starters, you could keep all the anger and resentment you have towards your company or boss inside until you snap. When it unleashes, it's like verbal diarrhea; spewing uncontrollably until either you have nothing left to say or you're fired and security escorts you from the building. Another way is by being afraid to take chances because you become too complacent in your current job title and performance. This is one of the most common ones. People get too comfortable and don't want to to step up to the next level at work because they feel it will require more work, responsibility or could equate to a higher possibility of scrutiny.
Office relationships and office friendships are typically a time bomb waiting to go off at any moment and are usually self explanatory. Being friends inside and out of the business is fine as long as you remember to stay within the boundaries during work hours and not let it influence your performance or behavior during that time.
Finally the biggest ways to self sabotage are personal relationships and personal life. There are way too many to go into, but I will go over a few examples. The first being the personal life. The biggest issue people face is procrastination which goes hand in hand with laziness. Both start when we're younger. In today's world, most kids are too used to playing their Nintendo, Xbox, and PlayStation when they have free time. It's one of the things they look forward to doing after school. They can play what they want, interact with friends or strangers online and never leave the comfort of their bedroom/house. But by relying on these devices, kids take their focus off of doing work and caring more about play time. It becomes the same when they get older. As a child, the procrastination takes the form of waiting till the last minute to do homework, reports, or studying. As an adult, it takes the form of forgetting to pay bills, accruing high amounts of debt, going late to work, or simply letting simple tasks snowball into something bigger. I have found myself in many of these situations in life and have learned the hard way many times you can't fall into the pit of procrastination.
Finally the personal relationships have a few forms. The first is picking fights based on insecurities, or not getting over past situations from an ex. Everyone goes through theses. Everyone has baggage that they need to deal with and most of the time can't until they work through it in either a rebound, the next relationship, therapy, or other creative ways. The next level deals with insecurities on higher levels. The people in the relationship tend to think the other person is too good for them or think one of them is not good enough for the other. If you put someone too high on a pedestal it makes them feel they have so much to live up to and if they can't be that, then they fail. On the opposite hand if you view them or yourself on a lower level, the person might feel like they're not good enough and tend to walk away. The final level has more to do with the what if situation and cold feet scenarios. The what if situation falls on people who have been in a relationship for a while and wonder what their life would be if they were single. It typically happens when they are either unhappy in the relationship or has many friends that are single. They tend to go out with the single group and hang around them wishing they could live that life once again. The cold feet scenario are found in the people who are about to get married. They're faced with the realization they're about to settle down with one person for the rest of their life and try to come up with any reason not to.
Now if you made it to this point, you're probably asking yourself what the hell is the point of all this or why the hell did you keep reading? My hope is that you did read everything. Did you see yourself in any of those situations? I bet you did. Maybe you found yourself listed a couple of times. The point I wanted to create was that everyone self sabotages their life. We all push the self destruct button at one point or another. But there's always the abort button. We can pull that steering wheel back, avoid the collision, and put ourselves back on course before it's too late. My hope is that by reading this, you can notice when you're being self destructive or sabotaging and correct yourself.
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